We went to the California DMV the other day to get California drivers licenses and California registration and tags for our car. I guess we should have known it would be an all day experience.

In Washington State, I think the DMV is privately owned and operated.. Plus you have to go to one place to get your drivers license and then you have to go to an entirely different place to get your car registered. Makes things a pain in the neck in a way... But it was quick enough. I remember it took like 20 minutes to get our drivers licenses. But in Washington State it's like 80 bucks for a drivers license. And I know when I lived in NJ....The DMV always had nightmare stories and lines. People would be in those offices all day.

Go figure California is worse than NJ when it comes to the DMV. Literally we spent like 6 hours and nothing was done. You wait outside forever, finally get inside to fill out some papers, grab a number and then wait some more. Finally after all that and your number is called, you just hope you didn't forget to fill something out or leave something at home. Because if you did, you have to start in the line outside and wait all over again.

Yeah and guess what.... Alicia discovered she needed her marriage certificate/license because her last name changed when we got married and it didn't match her birth certificate. So she has a social security card and Washington State drivers license with the name Jamack, but her maiden name is different on her birth certificate. What a waste of time. And she didn't have it with her. So back to our apartment (which is like 20 minutes away from this DMV) and we have to search for the damn marriage license. Luckily she knew where it was stored as we sort of still haven't unpacked all our mess. Back to the DMV we went.

So we had to wait in that outside line again... At least there was some excitement this time. Some 20 year old blonde girl was backing her red small sports car into a spot. I think it was one of those Mitsubishi eclipse cars. It sure didn't look like she knew how to parallel park though, but that's a different story. So this girl backed up, pulled forward, and then tried to back in again. After not being able to do it, she tried to pull forward more and then back in on some angle. But suddenly some other car tried to pull into the spot face first. I don't remember what the car exactly was, but it looked like a station wagon. Maybe 10 years old. The girl in the sports car banged on her horn and started to back up. At first the station wagon was just going to park but I don't think they realized that pulling in face first when you need to parallel park probably wasn't going to work. So after a few seconds of stalling and horn beeping and some yelling, the station wagon backed out and pulled away. The girl in the sports car finally parked her car, even though it was a terrible parallel parking job. So at least we weren't bored while waiting in line the second time around.

Finally after all that, we had to fill out some more paperwork, pay 28 bucks for our new California drivers license, and then we had to go take a 36 question written drivers test. And let me tell you how packed this building was.. Literally to move you had to push somebody out of the way. And it's always the DMV where you have people bragging that their 'babies daddy is in county jail." And this written test was on a piece of paper. So you filled it out, handed it back and waited. I'd say about 75 or more people were taking this test per hour. And there seemed to be only one woman grading the tests. Talk about outdated. Get some computer tests already that are graded instantly.

I'd say the wait was about 40 minutes or more. It seemed a lot of people didn't pass the test as they came back with sad expressions. Or since you get to take the test 3 times, they were upset they had to take it again. There were all kinds of people taking the tests. Young 16 year old kids, older men and women, immigrants from Mexico, Russia, Turkey, and who knows where else. What was odd to me was that I noticed some immigrants didn't have to take the same test. The one guy requested a written test in Turkish. And the person behind the counter gave him the test, crossed out one side, and told him it's an 18 question test. What the heck do I have to take a 36 question test for while somebody who can't read or maybe write in English gets to take an 18 question test. Seemed odd to me. I could have overheard things wrong, but it seems every time somebody requested a test not in English, they were told it was an 18 question test and the person behind the counter crossed out the back page. Do they take a test where the only thing on it was how to read a stop sign or something?

Finally I get the test back and I passed. I didn't even study. Wow I forgot half of that stuff but at least I passed on my first try. However I couldn't get my California drivers license. It seems NJ has an issue with my drivers license and I have to clear it up with them. I think it has to do with not registering my chevy blazer or something. Yeah I've lived in Washington State for like two years. Had a Washington State drivers license and two cars registered in Washington State. Plus the Chevy Blazer hasn't been used since like 2005 or something as it doesn't work. So I have to call NJ DMV or whatever next week to see what the problem is. Go figure stupid NJ would still cause me problems.

On another note, Alicia didn't pass the first test. She got like 9 questions wrong. You were only allowed to get 6 wrong. So she took the test again and had to wait another 45 minutes to find out if she passed or not. Go figure she made fun of me before we took the test because she thought she'd do better because she took the drivers test more recently than I did.

So while waiting I had the car inspected and registered. It cost $220 to register the car in California. All these fees involved. And then you go outside, pull the car up, and wait for somebody to look at your car. It took them like 30 minutes just to wait on me and nobody else was even in front of me. Everybody outside in the other line were taking a driving test. ANd wow I don't remember it being that tough. This one guy acted like a Drill Sergent and started spewing off 20 questions to this one teenager. I was nervous listening to this damn guy as half the questions he asked I couldn't even remember. I could only imagine what was going through that teenagers mind. I remember when I took my test, it was nerve racking but I didn't have to wait in the car for that long and answer tons of questions. This guy asked this kid like 20+ questions before even getting in the car. Hand signals, turn signals, parking brakes, emergency brakes, and who knows what else. Either California is different or the drivers test has gotten a lot tougher since I took it.

Anyway, the inspection was a joke. There was some other guy who came back from failing some teenager taking the drivers test and laughing about it.. I thought great... But all the guy did was write down the vin, the miles, look at the engine, and that was that..... I went back inside, handed the paperwork over, paid the 220 buck fee, and nothing. No tags, no real registration. You see, we have to go to some outside shop to get a Smog Check. Another fee. Then after passing that we have to go back to the DMV and hand over our Washington State tags and then we finally get our California tags and real registration. Right now we have a temp one that runs until August. Talk about running in place. But hey we still had to pay all these fees yet we really didn't get anything for all that money.

Oh yeah... After all that I went over to see Alicia who was still waiting for her second test grade. In Washington State they say you are supposed to take a written test, but we never had to. Well the results were finally in. Alicia passed the second test with flying colors. She said it was an entirely different test. Uh huh....... But guess what... After like 6 hours she didn't get a drivers license. She got some temp piece of paper. Her Washington State license was stamped or a hole punched through it to invalidate it but her real California Drivers license won't come for like 3 weeks. So she has to wait 3 weeks for it. But at least that comes in the mail and we don't have to go back to the DMV for that.

So yeah after 6 hours and all that waiting and tests, and paperwork, and crowds, and smelly people, we really didn't get a damn thing done. No tags. No real registration. No drivers licenses. Hurry up and wait for nothing is the motto I guess. Except it cost us $56 for two drivers licenses, $220 for registration, and a few bucks spent on gas to go back and forth a couple of times. And it's going to cost probably $50 for a smog check. Hopefully we'll pass. We should. I hope. And oh yeah.. I hope it's just simple mix up with NJ or that'll be another damn headache. My nightmare would be they tell me I have to come to some local NJ DMV to clear up the matter. Yeah I live in California... Money spent for nothing at this point. And you know what else sucks. Somehow I lost my glasses. I was wearing sun glasses, but since you had to take a vision test, I put my glasses in my pocket. I must have knocked them out or something when I grabbed my wallet. So now I'm the guy walking around wearing sunglasses at night.